Murphy’s Other Laws
If you give a man a fish he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer all day.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them.
If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.
Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in the dark.
When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
When working on a vehicle, a dropped nut or bolt will roll under the vehicle to the exact geographic center of the vehicle.
The amount of stuff you will accumulate is equal to 2.5 times the amount of available storage space.